Fanciful?

Now that June is here, it's time for another Scraps of Life Challenge over at DSS. I'm loving running this challenge, though I do wish a few more people would join in. Having said that, I don't seem to have got many of the challenges done myself last month, despite my best intentions, so I suppose until I can do every challenge each month myself I shouldn't worry about how many people take part in mine!

Having said that, this month's Challenge kit (free when you complete four challenges) is absolutely gorgeous, as per usual, so don't miss out, cos four challenges is not a lot to do.

Anyway, I'm digressing. This month's theme is 'Loss'. As usual this can be interpreted any way you want, be it the loss of a loved one, or of a friendship, a treasured possession - anything at all, however you want to do it. I know that this may well be a very emotive subject for a lot of people, and you might indeed find it painful to contemplate a layout about your loss, but I hope that if you can rise to the challenge you'll find it therapeutic to do. After all, the whole point of a challenge is to get you to do something you might not necessarily want to do, isn't it?

My layout for this month is about my Uncle Jimmy. He died in July 1996, from oesophageal cancer. He'd had an operation to remove the affected part of his oesophagus, but he was petrified that there may be a tiny leak from the wound into his lungs and that he would drown if any food or drink slipped through. Ultimately I think he more or less starved himself to death, not intentionally, but because he was just so scared. Obviously not eating much did not help his recovery, as he was weak and just couldn't fight any more. He was a great man, in my eyes - he didn't do anything astounding really in his life, but he was gentle and very loving, and so brave throughout his cancer ordeal - he obviously found strengths that he didn't know he had. I am so proud of him, and still miss him immensely, even after all this time. You'll probably think it a fanciful notion, but I am convinced that he is here with us still - he loved all us kids, and he was totally besotted with Sean, who was still only a baby when Uncle Jim died - and I am positive that he's watching over us all. Sometimes I can just feel something different, and he's always the first person to come to mind.

I scanned these pics of him last week, and I was showing Ethan the other day. I told him that Uncle Jimmy was GranGran's brother, and Ethan said (about the larger picture I've used) that he looked sad. I said he wasn't, he was just listening to something that GranGran was saying when I took the photo. Ethan then said that he looked very friendly. How right he was!

Anyway, on Friday night I was trying to get inspiration for this page, and I had the two pictures open on my computer when Ethan came and sat on my lap for a cuddle. He looked at the pictures and I asked if he remembered who it was - he remembered it was my Uncle. He said 'he's been dead for a long time, hasn't he, Mummy', and when I said yes, he asked if Uncle Jimmy had ever seen him. I explained that he hadn't, because he'd died about five years before Ethan was born, and Ethan started to cry. I asked him why he was crying and he said it was because Uncle Jimmy never got to see him. I told him that I was sure that Uncle Jimmy was watching over us all (he would have absolutely adored Ethan) and that he could see Ethan from heaven, at which he cried some more, because he said he wanted Jimmy to be here so that he could give him a hug. Is it any wonder I love that little boy so much??

Maybe it IS fanciful to think that he's still with us, but I don't care. I know that as long as I remember him then he will live on, but if I know anything about Uncle Jim, I know that he would absolutely love my scrapping, and he would absolutely delighted that I've done a page about him. I can hear him laughing now in fact, joyfully. Love you, Uncle Jim xxx