Connected

I experienced a very brief moment of elation this afternoon - the parish church in Hornchurch emailed me back to give me the good news that Nellie is indeed buried in their churchyard. However, they don't have a record of exactly where she is, and there is no record of an inscription, which means that there is no headstone. So what this boils down to is that she could be anywhere presumably. I am absolutely gutted. I so wanted to be able to go and visit her grave, to show her that she has never been forgotten. In some ways I wish that we hadn't found out where she was.



I have always felt a very strong connection with Nellie. I'm not sure why. She seems to be such an enigmatic figure, someone that we don't know a huge amount about. She was the eldest child of Thomas and Ellen, and she died of rheumatic fever at the age of 15, in a sanitorium in Hornchurch. See this picture of her? My Grandma has written on the bottom that it was taken when she was 1 year and 9 months old - so presumably some time around July 1889. This is one photo where I can see a resemblance to me - maybe that's why I'm so fascinated by her? This literally is all we know about her, other than that she was a talented artist - see this wonderful self-portrait she drew around 1900, when she was about 13 years old?

Isn't she beautiful? I suppose at least we today know a bit more - she was buried on 13th December 1902. I wonder why she was buried in Hornchurch and not nearer to home - the family lived in Stoke Newington at the time - why would they bury their first born so far away (at least 15 miles) in an age where transport was not so readily available. Mum wonders if perhaps they were very unsentimental like Grandma was - we're never going to know.

I often wonder if Nellie had dreams - did she dream of finding a nice young man and settling down? Of pursuing her artistic talent? Was she a talented seamstress too? Or a lacemaker? Was she educated? So many unanswered questions.

I feel distraught to think that she's been lying forgotten in Hornchurch for so many years - did anyone visit after Thomas and Ellen died? I can't bear to think that although I can go to the churchyard, I am unlikely to ever be able to stand next to her grave, and lay flowers there for her to enjoy.

I wonder if she knows that, almost 107 years after she died, she has not been, and will not be forgotten.

I found out a bit more about Frank today too. Not much, but I found the month of his death, and that his death was registered in Edmonton. It is entirely possible that he is also buried in Tottenham cemetery, and I'm going to do everything I can to find out. Must also ask Mum where Wally is buried - he died in 1961, so I am sure that Mum probably knows where he is buried (must ask her).