Chavtastic Shopping

So I went to Farmfoods to do some shopping this afternoon. We've got a new one just opened recently just up the road, where Staples used to be. I was eager to go, thinking it would be the same size as Staples was, ie massive. What a disappointment! It was only half the size, the building has been divided into two shops (the other one is empty). Still it was bigger than the one down in Acocks Green, so I expected I'd be able to do a good shop. Did I say disappointment? What a pile of shit!

If you were doing your chavvy shopping and wanted nothing but pizza and chips, you'd be fine. If, however, you wanted something a bit less unhealthy you were out of luck. No lie, there were about 10 freezers full of pizza, and 4 of chips. Yes, I did buy a box of those little McCain mini pizzas (4 in a box), cos they are good for a snack/lunch, but the rest was sadly lacking. I ended up with a box of burgers (expensive Birds Eye ones rather than the shitty cheapo ones), fish fingers (again, Birds Eye), frozen peas, a pack of Scotch pies ... and not a lot else in the frozen department. Oh, yes, I forgot - a bag of frozen chicken breasts and a bag of chunky potato wedges. If it wasn't for the fact that they had 1 litre bottles of smoothies on buy one get one free (so two litres for £1), it would have been a waste of time going. I got some squash (sugar-free, natch) and some bottled flavoured water (two bottles for £1) - it's not particularly great, but it's water and I will drink it nonetheless.

So will I go again? Yes, but only for the smoothies, at that price they are an absolute bargain (Sainsburys currently does two litre cartons for £3.50). Of course next time I go I will put on my tracky and burberry baseball cap as well, not forgetting my big ol' blingy 9 carat gold massive hoopy earrings and sovereign rings!