Despondency

I am really feeling despondent today. It feels like it's been forever since I've managed to scrap anything. I think I'm having one of those days where I wonder if I'll ever scrap again ...

I shouldn't be surprised - this week has been hectic to say the least. I have been backwards and forwards between work and Ethan's school, and been trying to keep up with everything else, but I've just felt so wiped out. Anyway, I finally managed to get an appointment at the doctors tonight ... it turns out that I've got a severe kidney infection, hence the pain. My doctor was really surprised that the emergency doctor didn't give me any antibiotics - and I'm cross to think that I could've had treatment for this four days ago and could be well on my way to recovery by now. Mum is urging me to complain, and I think perhaps I should. Quite frankly, I feel like shit. Anyway, at least I now have some antibiotics, and the doctor said they will also get rid of the chronic sinusitis that I've been suffering from for the last couple of weeks - I am so ready to get rid of all these pains!

I'm feeling really depressed right now, what with feeling so unwell, and having completely lost my Mojo. Things here at home aren't good either, it feels like things are at an all-time low with Colin. I'd be the first person to admit that he works bloody hard, and really long hours, but I don't think that that should be any reason for him to be so unsupportive, and believe you me, he's been really unsupportive of so many things lately that sometimes I wish he just wasn't here.

So, I've been trying to cobble together an entry for the ScrapArtist designer contest. I've managed to make one paper, and that's it. I just can't seem to get any inspiration going for anything else, and time is rapidly running out. Why am I even bothering? I know I'm not going to win, for God's sake, so what's the point?

I'm sat here listening to Needed by Protocol (that's the keyboard player Dave on the left, and singer John on the right - and me in the middle) - I'm not quite sure that it's a good song to be listening to in my present state as it's not going to make me a smiley happy person, but John does have an awesome voice, and the song is full of passion. They're playing here in Birmingham on 12th December, and with any luck I'll be there ... so at least I've got one thing in life to look forward to. If you want to have a listen to them yourself, you'll find their My Space page here.

Sorry for such a depressing post - I'm off to bed now, and hopefully I'll feel much more like myself in the morning ...