The Real Me?

So, here's my week 3 entry for Jen Wilson's Meaning contest. I chose to use the 'Real Me' prompt.

Something that most people don't know about me, is that the face I present to the world is just a front. I've been told many times that I'm just so confident (as a compliment, not a criticism), but nothing could be further from the truth. I quake in my boots at the thought of putting myself in the spotlight - but then don't we all have a fear of failure?

I have a very carefully constructed shell that I've built up over many years to protect myself. Okay, it doesn't necessarily protect me from hurt or pain, but it does help. I find it really really difficult to let my guard down and let anyone get in behind my shell to see the real me inside. I suppose it comes down to the fact that if I don't let them see what's real, then they can't use it against me in any way. I've got so used to playing life and soul of the party Kate, who will put herself out for everyone else and who is gently stroppy, that I'm not even sure whether that's really me or not; or who the real me is.

There truly aren't many people that know the real me: I need to learn to let the armour down and let more people in. There are a couple of people in my life that I really would love to allow behind the shell, but it's just too damn difficult to let go of it. I can try, though, huh?